208 East 13th Street NYC

Half the fun of travel is the aesthetic of lostness.

(Ray Bradbury)

Last night my brother game me the following advice (multiple times), "Just don't freak out." Today I may not have taken his advice. I have been living in NYC for just over one week. Despite having an amazing set up (I'm temporarily living with amazing friends in NYU law professor housing in a beautiful neighborhood), it has all been far more emotionally taxing than I had imagined. I have uprooted all aspects of my life, and feel completely ungrounded. I feel lost...learning how to navigate a new city, relationships, employment, housing. 

My "freak out" included a strong desire to want to become physically lost. I hoped on the F train and got off at Rockefeller Center. After walking around for a few minutes, I realized that I needed to go on a quest. I decided to find the tenement house that Emma Goldman lived in from 1903-1913, without using Google maps. 

Exit

54th st. to 13th st. (this is where my journey begins):

As I was walking the 41 blocks to my destination, I passed numerous people who were panhandling. As I walked past each person, I started thinking about the Sermon on the Mount. This led me to think of my fear of becoming apathetic and less concerned about the suffering around me. Just then an older man called out, "I'm hungry." I passed him, stopped, and turned around. I cannot remember the last time I was truly hungry. I gave him a couple of dollars and then I remembered something that I had read years ago about how our secret sorrow is the want to be enveloped in a raiment of real response. We started talking. He told me that it had been a rough day. I said that it had been for me too...and then I burst into tears. We talked for a few minutes. He asked me if I had a job. When I said that I didn't, he quickly responded, "Why the heck are you giving me money for?" He told me that sometimes it is important to vent to strangers. He became teary too, which I feel was for my benefit so I wouldn't feel so silly. We wished each other the best and I went on my way. 

STOP Police Brutality: 

As I approached Union Square I saw dozens of NYC police standing around. There were a bunch of people gathered for a rally organized to support all of those in Baltimore and those who have been killed by law enforcement. One of the passers by joined us. His dad had been shot in the head by a NYC cop in his own home. Another woman had been in Baltimore over the weekend and told in detail of her experiences there. Uncharacteristically, I went around with an orange bucket collecting donations for a legal campaign to support the forty New Yorkers who had been arrested at a demonstration on April 14, three of which were high school students. www.revcom.us 

Hare Krishna:

As I was leaving Union Square I came upon a group of Hare Krishnas sitting on a blanket chanting. One of them approached me. He told me that if I am ever feeling stressed out I can chant/sing what is written on the card above, and I will feel better. We talked for a minute about the Krishna temples in Utah and then he invited me to sing with them. At first I declined...but somehow I ended up sitting with the devotees and singing, "Hare Krishna Hare Krishna...". After about ten minutes I attempted to make an exit, but the devotee said, "Please don't go. We still have a half hour." So guess what folks, today I spent at least 40 minutes singing with a group of Krishna's on Union Square and the devotee was right, it did lift my spirit. 

Emma Goldman:

Just before sunset, I arrived at my destination.

Free love? As if love is anything but free! Man has bought brains, but all the millions in the world have failed to buy love. Man has subdued bodies, but all the power on earth has been unable to subdue love. Man has conquered whole nations, but all his armies could not conquer love. Man has chained and fettered the spirit, but he has been utterly helpless before love. High on a throne, with all the splendor and pomp his gold can command, man is yet poor and desolate, if love passes him by. And if it stays, the poorest hovel is radiant with warmth, with life and color. Thus love has the magic power to make of a beggar a king. Yes, love is free; it can dwell in no other atmosphere. In freedom it gives itself unreservedly, abundantly, completely. All the laws on the statutes, all the courts in the universe, cannot tear it from the soil, once love has taken root.” 

― Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love